


schlatt the dumbass sewer rat

by jazforthesoul



Category: Lunch Club
Genre: Collab, crackfic, spin the wheel for a 100 free spins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazforthesoul/pseuds/jazforthesoul
Summary: Centuries ago, there was a rich man called Jebediah Schlatt. Though his looks made the girls swoon, he had a dark secret. He spent his life scamming the poor with his own fake currency. The schlatt coin. It wasn’t until one fateful day, he messed with the wrong kind of woman. A witch, who fell for his scams, cursed him to live the rest of eternity as a sewer rat.
Relationships: none wtf
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	1. The begin of rat

**Author's Note:**

> this is a crackfic and in no way should be taken seriously. everyone who wrote for this did not know the story the others had wrote until the end, then minor editing to have some sort of plot. 
> 
> go check out the writer of this chapter @ WholesomeClouds on Tumblr

Centuries ago, there was a rich man called Jebediah Schlatt. Though his looks made the girls swoon, he had a dark secret. He spent his life scamming the poor with his own fake currency. The schlatt coin. It wasn’t until one fateful day, he messed with the wrong kind of woman. A witch, who fell for his scams, cursed him to live the rest of eternity as a sewer rat. 

Present day:  
There he sits, the most hated sewer rat in  
New York; Schlattrat. 

With no other rat friends to talk to, he looked for other sewer dwelling folk. Cooper, the sewer monster was a funky lookin dude but I guess he is a fish monster so whatever. 

Schlattrat had been wondering the streets and sewers of New York for centuries now, watching it grow into the city it is today. 

“Fucking pathetic” said Schlattrat with a scoff as he peered through the storm drain.

“Hey man just chill he’s only doing his job” Cooper replied. 

Across the road there was a milkman delivering milk in the neighbourhood. 

“I can’t believe he is getting paid for this” Schlattrat seethed in jealousy. 

“I USED TO BE RICH! I USED TO BE BEAUTIFUL” he yelled. 

Cooper tried his best to calm the rat down, but all the commotion caught the attention of the milkman.

Cooper saw the man walking over to the storm drain and immediately slapped the shit out of the rat. 

"DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB ASS RAT BITCH”

“Well hey there strange fuckin creatures of the sewers, my names Ted!” 

“AHHHHJCHSHOSHD” said the rat and the fish. Both scrambled out of the storm drain in panic. 

“DUDE YOUR FUCKIN NAKED” shouted cooper. 

“IM A GODDAMN RAT” schlatt retaliated. 

“I’m a milkman” 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DONT HAVE RIGHTS” said schlatt.


	2. the end of rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah 
> 
> i wrote this   
> follow me on all socials @ jazforthesoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im cool.

“We must eliminate the monlkman. He knows too much” Schratt said to creeper before running to his hole.”  
Schreek spent the next 30 mins working on a plan to kill Theodoor adn regain his honor like zuko from avatar except hes a rat bender. 

after shitt woke up the next morn, he ate cheemse from the trash, like the dirty rat bastard bitch he is, and sqeaked like a dumbass rat oh my god hes such a stupid dirty rat i hate him so much

slut walked outside and got on all 4ores so he could finally end the teck. 

“chchchhchchckckckck” dumbass rat nerd said, and then turned the corner down a creepy alley to sell his goods.

“Mr Rat Man, what the actual fuck???” 

owh nowh!! Milk man was standing with a gun!! 

“ckckckkckkckckckkck!!!chchkkckkk!!!” shebang said angrily, as he was not expecting TedTalk to be there with a weapon! 

“Mr Rat Man, you spoken english the last time we had encountered??” T-Pain said like schulrp was crazy!!

Schink hissed angrily started Mongolian Throat Singinng.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Shclip screeched the rat song and Toothpaste had to cover his ears, and he dropped the gun as a result. 

Then all da sudden, millions of sewer rats crawled from the depths of the sewer to assist the Schlurt. Also the sewer monsta, Cooper crawles out too

“Oh its sewer fish boy! Henlo It is I ted” 

Schlinderella then bared his teeth at the. 

“I am the rat god. Get nae’ naed’ chooch.”

The Rat God then sent his rats at Toilet Paper, and they were hissing, they probably had rabies. 

“Shclorp wait!” Crup said crawling out of the sewer hole. 

“Ckckckkckck” Scherk said in response, halting his rat peasants.  
Little did they both know, Trantula had aNOTTHER GUN!! He slowly pulled it out, and cppre and shithead both didnt kno!!!1

“Wat if we made Calcuim a rat? Then we could-”

*bang noise*

Crockpot screamed as his sewermonster body hit the ground with a “plop” 

“CKCKCKCKCKCKKCKCKKC” The Rat Lord had been angered!!!

He pointed at Milkieman and the millions of sewer rats ran up to him. 

The rats ate calcium boy like cheese all the way down to his bones, which were very strong due to his molk.

When the carnage was over, Scratt saw something over by caprisun. He was glowing!!

“Jebidaih Schlatt, you have shown you no longer care for just greed and money, but the protection of your fellow sewer people. Because of this, I will return you to human form.”

Sheep couldnt believe it! Capitalism was the Witch!!!!!!

Crocs then extended his hand and said the magic words to return Schrimp to his original form.

“Ooga Booga”

Shine then booped into human form. He looked at his hands and smiled.

“Finally, I am not confined to the prisons of a small stinky sewer rat.”

Sapphire then picked up the gun and shot the rat witch who formerly was known as scoops.

“No more stinky rat witch lmao”

He fortnited default danced on scrop’s corpse 

The end


End file.
